London

phone rings

ann - hey, what's up?
elektra - ummm sex and the city, friends and cheers
ann - something from this year?
elektra - nah, i am a bit of nostalgic t'day.
ann - i see
ann again - as a matter of fact, i have a question for ya
elektra - shoot
ann - do you still have that rem college age collection?
elektra - ah those
ann - ummm, i sense a sad story coming up
elektra - ok, take your tissues
elektra once more - remember harold?
ann - harold, the w.s. guy? eighties yuppie, most likely to end up as a ceo harold?
elektra - yeah, thats the one
elektra continues - the guy become one of this hare krishna something, but the story is, before that he was broke, so he had nothing, nada. but, you know, we were kinda seeing each other and then he come to my apartment, yes he knew where my spare keys where, and then part of the transmutation is burning all the evil stuff that you have, but since he had nothing he had the nerve to come to my house to pick up all my evil stuff, like, my thongs, my vibrator and, oh, my rem collection.
ann - youre kiddin.
elektra - i swear, i didnt notice at first, but then when i realize it, i was devasted.
ann - i know, your precious little joe, you poor thing.
elektra - right. the son of a bitch decide he is illuminated and i am the one who pays? nuh huh!
ann - so, what did you do?
elektra - well, you know me... i couldnt...
ann - come on, in the seventh grade i lost your pen and you ripped off all my barbie's legs, you are the spirit of vengeance yourself!
elektra - right, i broke his nose.
ann - what?
elektra, yeah, i broke his fucking nose.
ann - but dont you think this is a little too much? dont you think you were over reacting? I mean, you assalted a person!
elektra - i know, but get this: i went down at the temple or whatever they call that slum that they live and the bastard was selling my stuff! And not just my panties and personal belongings, he made copies and was selling my pictures too!
ann - what pictures?
elektra - the ones i took it for the bastard's birthday in 1998, remember?
ann -oh, the sluty portrait of yourself, yeah, this is bad.
elektra - then when i got to him, he pretended that he was in some sort of nirvana or something, then he looked at me and i punched him, right in the nose. I mean, i deslocated one of my fingers, but you know. Totally worth it.
ann - so what about the records?
elektra - well, he fell on it and broke it all.